Sexual Health 101: What They Really Should Have Taught Us

Intro: Let’s Be Real for a Second

Most of us grew up with one of two versions of “sex ed”:

1. A teacher mumbling through a slideshow about abstinence.

2. A stack of awkward pamphlets that told you everything that could go wrong, and none of what could go right.

But here’s the truth: sexual health is about way more than preventing pregnancy or STIs. It’s about knowing your body, making informed choices, communicating clearly, and yes, pleasure (because sexual health without pleasure is like teaching cooking and never mentioning flavor 🍲).

Step One: Know Your Body (It’s Not Awkward, It’s Powerful)

Before we talk about sex, we have to talk about bodies, and not in the vague, outdated textbook way.

• Everyone’s anatomy is different. Bodies with vulvas have external parts (like the clitoris: a nerve-rich organ designed for pleasure, not reproduction), and internal parts (like the vagina, cervix, and uterus).

• Bodies with penises have the penis (which contains the urethra) and testes (which produce sperm).

• Gender identity doesn’t always align with anatomy, and that’s okay. What matters is understanding the parts you have and how they work.

Learning about your body isn’t embarrassing, it’s the first step in taking care of it. If you wouldn’t drive a car without knowing how the brakes work, why would you navigate intimacy without understanding your own system?

This guide is here to give you the facts, the real talk, and the tools to make confident, safe, and joyful decisions.

Consent: The Non-Negotiable Rule

Let’s be clear: consent is everything. No matter what kind of sexual activity we’re talking about, the rule is simple:

“Only yes means yes.”

Here’s what that actually means:

• Consent must be freely given — not pressured, guilted, or manipulated.

• It must be informed — both people know what they’re agreeing to.

• It must be specific — yes to one activity doesn’t mean yes to everything.

• It must be reversible — you can change your mind anytime.

Continued consent means checking in during, not just before. A simple, “Does this still feel good?” or “Are you okay with this?” is respectful and sexy.

Pro tip: Consent conversations don’t kill the mood, they build trust. And trust is what makes intimacy actually feel safe and pleasurable.

Safer Sex: The Basics They Glossed Over

You deserve more than fear-based lectures, so here’s the real, useful info:

STI Prevention

• Condoms and barriers (external condoms, internal condoms, dental dams) are your best defense against sexually transmitted infections.

• Get tested regularly, at least once a year, or whenever you have a new partner.

• Talk openly about STI history before sexual activity. It’s not awkward, it’s responsible.

Pregnancy Prevention

• Condoms, birth control pills, IUDs, implants, patches, shots, there are lots of options.

• No one method is “best”, what’s best is what works for you.

• Combine methods (like condoms + hormonal birth control) for extra protection.

Fun fact: Using condoms and another method is called “dual protection.” It’s like wearing both sunscreen and a hat, layered safety.

Pleasure: The Part They Left Out

If nobody’s ever told you this, let me be the first: pleasure is a healthy, important part of sexual health.

• It’s okay to prioritize your comfort and enjoyment.

• It’s okay to say “stop” if something doesn’t feel good.

• It’s okay to communicate what does feel good.

• And it’s always okay to explore your body on your own terms before involving anyone else.

Remember: shame is a tool used to control people. Knowledge, communication, and self-understanding are tools that empower you.

Practical Tips for Healthy Sexual Decisions

Go slow. There’s no rush, you’re not “behind” if you’re not sexually active.
Communicate openly. Talking about boundaries, comfort levels, and desires before anything happens builds trust.
Learn together. If you have a partner, explore resources, talk to a provider, or get tested together.
Check in with yourself. Ask: “Do I want this?” and “Does this feel good?” If the answer’s no, pause.

Trusted Resources for Rural Communities

Here’s where to go for accurate info, free or low-cost care, and confidential support, even in small towns:

• Planned Parenthood – STI testing, contraception, pregnancy services, and education

• Bedsider.org – Birth control comparison tools and where to find free clinics

• CDC – Sexual Health Basics – Straightforward, science-based info

• Scarleteen – Inclusive, teen-focused guides on sex, consent, and pleasure

• Love Is Respect – Healthy relationships and consent resources

• Find STI Testing Near You – Confidential testing locator by ZIP code

Take the Next Step

• Request a Sexual Health Kit – Includes condoms, pregnancy tests, safer sex guides, and more.

• Request a Body Literacy Kit – Anatomy guides, consent tools, and educational materials.

• Explore more resources – Learn about birthwork, advocacy, and reproductive justice.